10 Rhyme Crimes to Avoid in Your Picture Book Manuscripts

If you're a rhymer, chances are you've committed one or more of these rhyme crimes at some point in your writerly past. I know I have! And that's why I'm here to warn you: committing these despicable acts when writing a picture book manuscript will land you in the slammer! Well, you're probably not going to end up in jail, but you may get slammed with some harsh critiques and/or reviews, not to mention getting a slap on the wrist by the rhyme and meter police!

So, take my advice, and avoid these rhyme crimes:

1. Position a word in a line in such a way as to force the reader to abandon the word's natural stresses in order to maintain the verse's established meter.

2. Use a word solely for its rhyme, knowing that it doesn't truly fit in the context of the line.

3. Choose words that are near rhymes.

4. Use homophones as rhyming words (pare and pear, for example).

5. Overuse ordinary, one-syllable rhyming words.

6. Don't consider alternate pronunciations of common words.

7. Be afraid to use interesting and unusual language.

8. Steer clear of trying a variety of formats and rhyme schemes.

9. Rely on syllable count rather than a word's natural rhythm.

10. Never listen to someone else read your story aloud.

Have you been committing any of these crimes against good rhyme? Don't worry! It's never too late to turn your rhyming life around.

Do you need help avoiding the rhyme crime slammer? Check out my Writing For Kids page for tips, resources, and information about my critique services. 

Top Ten Rhyming Picture Books

Rhyme is one of my favorite things, whether it be in the form of a poem or a picture book. I love reading it, and I love writing it. In fact, when an editor poses the question, "Why rhyme?" the first thought in my head is, "Why not?" I want to share my love for fabulous rhyme with you, so here is a list of my top ten favorite (currently) rhyming picture books.

1. THE FORGETFUL KNIGHT by Michelle Robinson, illustrated by Fred Blunt

This book is rhyming perfection, with a clever story and lots of laughs to go with it!

2. BEAR SNORES ON by Karma Wilson, illustrated by Jane Chapman

A pleasure to read over and over, and a book I recommend to anyone who wants to write in rhyme. The writing captures the mood of the book perfectly, and the story is fun and sweet.

3. THE THREE NINJA PIGS by Corey Rosen Schwartz, illustrated by Dan Santat

A funny and active retelling of the classic fairy tale. And don't forget the other two ninja books in this series, NINJA RED RIDING HOOD and HENSEL AND GRETEL: NINJA CHICKS.

4. TEENY TINY TOADY by Jill Esbaum, illustrated by Keika Yamaguchi

An adorable story about a heroic little toad told in rhyme that bounces and rolls and flows off the tongue.

5. WHAT ABOUT MOOSE? by Corey Rosen Schwartz and Rebecca J. Gomez, illustrated by Keika Yamaguchi

I had to include this book in this list, and not just because it's one of my own. One thing this book is consistently praised for is its flowing rhyme and its unique language. And it always elicits some giggles during read-alouds!

6. THE PRINCE AND THE PORKER by Peter Bently, illustrated by David Roberts

So funny and so much fun to read!

7. SIMPSON'S SHEEP JUST WANT TO SLEEP by Bruce Arant

The sequel to SIMPSON'S SHEEP WON'T GO TO SLEEP. It's charming and funny, and the rhyme is basically flawless.

8. TWINDERELLA by Corey Rosen Schwartz, illustrated by Deborah Marcero

A "fractioned" fairy tale that is as fun to read as it is clever. Who knew a book with a math theme could be this much fun?

9. IT'S ONLY STANLEY by Jon Agee

An amusing and clever book that has flawless rhyme and a surprise ending. What more could you ask for?

10. NINJA, NINJA, NEVER STOP! by Todd Tuell, illustrated by Tad Carpenter

This book is just so active and fun. You'll love reading it aloud to the littlest ninjas!

Tips for Writing Rhyme that Shines

One of the biggest challenges of writing in rhyme is finding rhymes that are not predictable and overused. But that is also what makes the best rhyming stories and poems!

Some examples of predictable rhymes:

Sun, fun, run
Sight, night, fright
Can, man, plan
Up, cup, pup
Hear, fear, near
See, me, tree, 
No, go, blow, so
Blue, true, new, do, you
Day, play
Out, about
High, sky

Avoiding the Predictable Rhyme Trap is essential for writers who want their rhyme to stand out. Anyone can think to rhyme sun with fun, or high with sky. No reader, upon seeing the word high paired with sky, would exclaim, "What originality!"

Your goal should be to impress your readers by choosing rhymes that will surprise them. Give them something unexpected!

One way to do that is by changing up the way you describe ordinary things. If you are writing about the sun, why not use a metaphor or other descriptor in place of "sun" in your writing? Or consider rearranging the words so that "sun" doesn't fall at the end of a line. 

Another option is to use the common word, like sun, but find a less predictable word with which to make your rhyme. Like in the example below:

I sizzled in the summer sun
'till hot and crispy--overdone!
My balding unprotected head
was now a perfect pepper-red.

A few other tips for writing rhyme that shines:

- Make up words! An example of a rhyming book with fun made up words that really work is Aaron Zenz's HICCUPOTAMUS. And Dr. Suess, of course, was a genius at making up words.

- Use multi-syllabic words. These rhymes are often more challenging to write, but they are more fun to read. Corey and I used a lot of multi-syllabic rhyming words in WHAT ABOUT MOOSE? 

- Don't force it. Even the most interesting, unique, perfectly rhyming words will harm rather than help your story if they don't truly fit the context. 

Of course, it isn't possible to avoid using predictable rhymes entirely. There are many times when the predictable rhyme is simply the best choice. This is why writing great rhyme is about more than the rhymes. Using clever, creative wording and literary devices such as alliteration and onomatopoeia throughout a rhyming piece will help it to stand out even on those occasions when the rhymes themselves may be ordinary. 

But ordinary, predictable rhymes should not be the norm. Strive for the unexpected!

Poetry Week by Week: Animal Rhymes: Guest poet Laura Sassi

Poetry Week by Week continues today with a guest post by children's book author and poet Laura Sassi. This past December I won a copy of Laura Sassi's adorable rhyming picture book, GOODNIGHT, MANGER, which promptly earned a spot on my list of favorite Christmas books. If you haven't read it, you should. And you don't have to wait for Christmas!

Today I am very excited to welcome Laura to the blog to share one of her very own animal rhymes.

Thank you for joining in on the fun, Laura!

Spelling Bee

by Laura Sassi

I wish I had a spelling bee

That spelled words in my ear

Like “marzipan”  and “marvelous”

And  “cocoa” and "adhere”.

I’d train my bee to buzz me when

I needed silent e’s.

He’d help me sound out syllables

And add apostrophes.

I’d never get an answer wrong

On any spelling quiz.

I’d never have to look up words.

I’d be a spelling whiz!

And once I trained my spelling bee

I see no reason why

To help with math, I might not train

A calculator fly!

“The Spelling Bee” copyright © Laura Sassi. First published in Boys’ Quest  Apr/May2012, Vol. 17 Issue 6.

The inspiration behind the poem: 

Our school’s annual spelling bee got me wondering -what if there actually was a bee that could spell? Creativity took over and several hours later out popped my poem, “The Spelling Bee.” After multiple revisions, critiques, and my mandatory “let it sit for a couple of weeks” rule, I was ready to submit it. The children’s magazine, BOYS’ QUEST, accepted it and it appeared in their April/May 2102 issue of Boys’ Quest.

Thanks, Becky, for letting me share this poem and the inspiration behind it.

About Laura:

Laura Sassi, author of GOODNIGHT, ARK (Zonderkidz, 2014) and GOODNIGHT, MANGER (Zonderkidz, 2015), has a passion for telling humorous stories. Most, but not all, of her picture books-in-progress are told in rhyme. Either way, she finds writing poems to be fun way to hone her wordplay skills. Laura writes daily from her century-old home in New Jersey where she lives with her husband, two children, and a black Cockapoo named Sophie.  In addition to her picture books, which are available wherever books are sold, you can find her poems and stories in numerous children’s publications including Spider, Highlights for Children and Focus on the Family’s Clubhouse Jr.  You can connect with Laura on Facebook, Twitter, or by visiting her blog.

Poetry Week by Week: Animal Rhymes

In week one of Poetry Week by Week, I celebrated concrete (shape) poems by sharing some favorites, inviting a guest poet, and challenging myself (and my readers) to try writing a concrete poem or two.

And now, week two of my Poetry Week by Week celebration and challenge is here! The next week will be spent celebrating animal rhymes in their many forms.

You may be wondering what's so special about animal rhymes that I should dedicate an entire week to them on my blog. After all, animal rhyme isn't a poetic form, like haiku or limerick. There's no special technique or unique format used in writing an animal rhyme. Animal rhymes can be anything!

What I love about rhyming critter poems is that they can be anything from a rollicking nonsense rhyme to a lyrical, rhythmic poem that celebrates the natural world. Rhyme is the perfect delivery system for sharing interesting information about fascinating creatures because it encourages listeners to perk up and pay attention!

As a poet, nature has been one of my biggest inspirations. And so, to start off this week of celebrating animal rhymes, here is a poem I wrote about a hummingbird:

Hummingbird

Darting left, zipping right,

tiny bird in rapid flight.

Flitting here, fluttering there,

almost lighter than the air.

Humming buzz, whirring zoom,

sipping nectar from a bloom.

Tiny bird in rapid flight,

darting left, zipping right.

© Rebecca J. Gomez

Photo credit: Bill Gracey via Visualhunt.com / CC BY-NC-ND

I hope you will join me throughout the week as I celebrate animal rhymes. Don't miss tomorrow, when author Laura Sassi will be stopping by to share an animal rhyme with us!

National Poetry Month: Writing in Rhyme, a guest post by Elliah Terry

Today's National Poetry Month post features guest blogger Elliah Terry, a talented author and poet, who joins us today with a little advice for those wanting to write in rhyme.

WRITING IN RHYME: AN ITSY BITSY CRASH COURSE

Many children’s writers wish to write in rhyme. Some writers even mistakenly believe in order for a piece to be for children—it has to rhyme. I’m here to tell you, no. No, it doesn’t. And bad rhyme is much worse than bad prose, in my opinion. So, if you are going to attempt to write a poem or a picture book for children in rhyme (and why not? it’s super fun!) it is a good idea to learn the basics of rhyming. Learning to write in rhyme is like learning a new language. In other words, you aren’t going to learn it all overnight. And you’ll get better as you practice. But here is the quickest course you’ve ever seen on how to do it.

SET-UP: instead of sentences and paragraphs, rhyming poetry is set up using lines and stanzas. Lines are usually short phrases. A stanza is a group of lines in a poem. There is usually an empty line between stanzas.

RHYME SCHEME: is the pattern of rhyming lines. Two of the most common schemes found in children’s literature are

Couplets: There are two lines in a couplet. The 1st and 2nd lines rhyme (wall, fall).

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

 

Quatrains: There are four lines in a quatrain. The 2nd and 4th lines rhyme (lean, clean.)

 

            Jack Sprat could eat no fat,

            his wife could eat no lean.

            And so between them both, you see,

            They licked the platter clean.

 

Note: Once you choose a pattern for your poem/story—stick with it throughout the entire piece.

 

METER: is the rhythmic structure of a line. You can’t just string a bunch of words together, make the ends rhyme, and call it poetry. The words must flow naturally off the reader’s tongue. And that’s where meter comes in. For example:

 

            HUMP ty DUMP ty sat on a WALL         *the stressed syllables are in caps

            HUMP ty DUMP ty had a great FALL     *the meter matches

 

So there you have it. The basics of writing in rhyme. Now get to it! (And practice, practice, and practice.)

***

About the author: Elliah is a wife, mother, writer, and most importantly, a professional bubble bath taker. She writes poetry, picture books, and middle grade novels and occasionally takes out the trash. Find out more at her blog, The Itsy Bitsy Writer, or follow her on twitter @ElliahTerry. 

Post PiBoIdMo: A List Poem

PiBoIdMo came and went.
My brainstorm juice is all but spent!
But I have quite a lengthy list
of new ideas, names and twists:
tales of dogs, a cat, a fox,
a barn, a dream, a bear that talks,
doodles, Spanish, ABCs,
rescues, grumps, catastrophes,
a bus, a knight, a dinosaur,
the moon, some gum, the number four,
babies, owls, a spook or two.
FORTY concepts, bright and new!
I guess I now have work to do...

How Writing a Picture Book Can Be Like Shopping for Jeans

I've been working on a new manuscript for the past couple of weeks: a picture book based a nursery rhyme.

Rhyme. It seems the logical approach for this story. You know, since it is based on a nursery rhyme and all. And since I tend to slip into rhyme by accident every time I start writing a new picture book anyway.

But with this project, I haven't settled into any format yet. Nothing fits well enough to make me say, "Sold!"

It's like shopping for jeans, bringing them one at a time into the fitting room until I find just the right pair.

The first format was a fairly simple narrative prose. I often begin this way when I have a concept for a story, but haven't figured out all the details. It's like brainstorming as I write. Or like trying on the simplest, most basic style of jeans a store has to offer. Sometimes they fit; more often they do not. But trying them on gives me an idea of what might work better. The prose, to me, was like a pair of jeans that were too big in all the wrong places.

So I switched to a basic rhyme pattern that has worked well for me in the past. But something wasn't quite right. It was like putting on a pair of bootcut jeans that looked great, but just weren't quite what I was looking for. I needed something fresher. Younger. Maybe with a little bling on the pockets.

Back to prose I went. This time I aimed for something a little snappy, a little irreverent, a little fun. It was cute at first. It seemed to be working! But...I paused. It was like trying on a pair of jeans that looked like everything I ever wanted, but I just couldn't get used to ultra low rise. It wasn't me. The story didn't feel authentic.

So yes. Back to rhyme. This time I was confident. I had thought of an adorable beginning stanza that matched almost perfectly the pattern of the original rhyme--an AAB CCB pattern. But after the first several stanzas, I started to feel like it was too restricting. Like a pair of jeans that looked perfect, and showed off all the right curves, but were too tight. If I bought them, everyone would know that I had to force my way into them.

And forcing it is never the way to go when writing a picture book, especially a picture book in rhyme.

So back to browsing I go. Unlike when I'm shopping for jeans, I'm confident that I will find something that fits me and this story perfectly.

I Knocked, but No One Answered

A little photo and poetry just for fun!

I Knocked, But No One Answered

I came upon this charming house
while out the other day.
I stopped to knock upon the door,
but no one came to say,
"Come in, come in! Please have some tea
and chat with me a while."
It was a disappointment,
but I couldn't help but smile.

Recommended Picture Book: The Three Ninja Pigs

Once upon an exciting time,
I purchased a new picture book.
A "ninja pigs" story
by my good friend Corey.
You'll love it! Just give it a look!

I promise, your kids will adore it
and you'll be impressed by the rhyme.
The language and meter
could not have been "sweeter."
This book's worth your money AND time.

Who woulda thought...

...that I would have been able to squeeze so much into the month of December and not get stressed out at all?

Cooking
baking
candy making,
reading
writing
line reciting,
sewing
mending
toddler tending,
caroling
shopping
picture cropping,
painting
gluing
caramel chewing,
kissing
hugging
scenery lugging,
cutting
wrapping
cozy napping,
directing,
playing,
lots of praying!

Remember that "maybe"?

The editor wants to see revisions! I spent a good part of Wednesday tweaking the meter in a few stanzas of the manuscript I mentioned the other day. It is a counting book told in rhyme. What fun huh? Also, what a pain!

I love rhyme, but sometimes getting just the right words into just the right metric pattern can be like finding two socks in the laundry with the same shade of whiteness!

Tough job, but worth it!

The Life of a Picture Book Part Five: First Readers

Having a few "first readers" is an important part of the life of a picture book (or any book). In my case, my very first reader is usually one of my daughters. By their reactions I can tell if a story is working or not. While it is likely that they are biased, they aren't shy about telling me when something doesn't seem to make sense. And the younger one has a real eye for proofreading! The next reader is a trusted writer friend, in this case Corey.

So, what did they say about my little ogress?

Daughter #1 said she liked it, but the ending was a little cheesy. She wasn't sure at the time if that was good or bad. After thinking about it, she decided she liked the ending.

Daughter #2 also liked it and didn't find the ending cheesy at all. Of course, she pointed out a spot that needed a comma.

My son liked the story, didn't think the ending was cheesy, and appreciated the gross humor involved in writing a story about ogres.

Corey said that it was cute, but had questions concerning the logic of one character's behavior. Fortunately, the questions should be able to be answered with some fairly minor revisions and additions. Corey did not think the ending was cheesy.

After having them read it, of course I had questions of my own. What did you think of this line? Did it make sense that the characters did this?

I noted the concerns and began taking steps to address them. Soon my little ogress will be ready for a thorough critique!

Read The Life of a Picture Book Part Six: Spit Shining

The Life of a Picture Book Part Four: Full Draft

I have a complete rhyming draft of my ogress story! I finished it this morning, and then sent the very rough draft to Corey. It will be good to see her thoughts on it before I dive head-first into revisions.

Full draft done. Now the real work begins!

Read The Life of a Picture Book Part Five: First Readers

Just for fun during the trick-or-treat season

Here's a little treat for your reading pleasure. Several years ago I entered a "Dr. Suess-style" writing contest and won first place with the following poem (based on Dr. Suess' THERE'S A WOCKET IN MY POCKET):

A Spider in the Cider
© 2003 Rebecca J. Gomez

Have you ever had the notion there’s a potion in your lotion?
Or a mummy playing rummy at a table in the stable?

When something hovers over the covers
Or there’s a howler in the shower
Do you shrink when you think of the midnight hour?

Today I thought for sure there was a spider in the cider
And a bat under my hat
And a snake under the rake

There is a slug inside my jug
And a snail in the mail
And the ghost eating my toast really makes me want to wail

I like the frog under the log
And the witch out in the ditch
But the ants in my pants always make me squirm and itch

Things that creep where I sleep I do not like to have around
But the crawlers are the worst because they never make a sound